Goals and Objectives

Building my website and starting a blog site was quite an undertaking for me. Deep down I knew I could do it if someone just took my hand and gently led me down the right path. I offer my gratitude to Richard Sink for being that person, guiding me, believing in me, and putting up with the hours it took me to just find the right heading that was some shade of purple. Yes, it had to be purple, which had to take an incredible amount of patience on Richard’s part and I truly appreciate his sense of humor throughout.

I was feeling quite proud of my accomplishment, as I expressed what I’d wanted to say about myself and my girls and all was finally complete. Hitting the “publish” key I felt a great sense of pride. The next day I sat back to enjoy my achievement and I was struck by the question of “now what?” Questions began popping into my head and I was hit with one of those aha moments that bring awareness, but not in the soft, warm, fuzzy, sort of way. This was more one of those “what am I trying to do or say?” and “who do I think I am that people would be interested in whatever undetermined message I have?” sort of ways. I questioned how I would define myself and my goal. What was my goal anyway?

I began reading blogs by people who inspire me, and found their writing to be beautiful, the thoughts so well defined, the words carefully chosen, the messages encouraging and uplifting. I was stuck in a place of doubt. I finally sat down to write last night about a quote I had heard earlier in the day, but my phone rang. That call would take me away from my keyboard for more than an hour. Then there were shooting stars to watch, and the evening cleanup routine, and by this time my well thought out, and researched subject, was not coming together. I decided I had been taken away from the keyboard because I had not yet determined my goal, and I should not be writing yet. I needed to define my goal.

Things seem to be changing very quickly around here lately. My personal healing journey has taken a new turn as I work on forgiveness, school begins for Zach on Monday and we’ve got to completely prepare for that almost always stressful event. We are also trying to purchase a new home, and just switched banks and realtors. Melissa has had two devastating events this past month that very well could have taken her life, and took my thoughts to places I’d rather not go. Very good things are happening as well. I’ve got two children that are making rapid progress, Hannah and Zachary. Rapid progress is not an issue our family often faces. Progress in our home, with our children, does not happen quickly. We’ve learned to appreciate the tiniest of things, the small incremental steps that individuals make over a very long period of time. Both kids are becoming more able to handle social situations and group settings that were unbearable previously. Both are making huge strides in communication. Hannah has been gesturing more and is trying to tell me something each morning with the same “sign” she has invented. I do not yet know what she is communicating to me, which is a bit of a frustration for both of us. Zach has put together unbelievably compassionate, kind and complex thoughts and been able to beautifully articulate them. (Zach is not mentioned on our website but he is 15 years old, and has a diagnosis of autism. His struggles are greatest in the areas of communication and socialization).

Ron (my husband), Zach and I were having a discussion about “value” last night, and what makes someone a valuable member of society. We got quite involved in this conversation and each of us had our thoughts on the subject, trying to decide if value and gifts were tied together. I don’t want to quote Zach because I’ll destroy what he so delightfully said, but he went on to tell us what made me valuable, his dad valuable and what made his homeroom teacher valuable. I, of course was moved to tell him what made him valuable as well. Ron and I fought back tears as we realized what went into the thoughts and forming the sentences he had just expressed so brilliantly.

I woke up this morning grateful I had not approached the topic I was on a mission to explore last night.  It is today that I can clearly see my goal. I define a goal as an end result, where one wants to be when an objective is complete. So, my goal is not a goal at all; it’s more about our journey. Our family does not have a goal; perhaps we don’t even have an objective. We are on a journey, together, and I’ve decided my mission is simply about that journey. The journey doesn’t end, it continues on. So, with all the rapid change taking place in our family, bear with me as I get off subject and leap from topic to topic. Just sit back and enjoy the ramblings of a mom who always seems to come to some fork in the road, with a deer in the headlights look on my face, questioning which way to wander.

With love and gratitude to all that have read this far,

Pam

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6 Responses

  1. A great post! I am looking forward to reading more..

    Johanna

  2. Thanks Johanna, I sincerely appreciate your comments and interest 🙂
    Pam

  3. we love rambling,keep it coming:)

  4. “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
    ~Ralph Waldo Emerson~

  5. Namaste Pam,
    Your blog is beautiful, may the readership grow without limits or bounds. I so appreciate who you are in the lives of your children, and just “who you are”. I’ve been at http://www.mydaughtersvoice.com and here to the blog using my mobile phone! Everything looks great! You are inspiring me to start a blog myself, and wordpress is offering a mobile app to blog from my phone. Technology can be good! Blessings, Richard

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