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Ramblings Thoughts

This is just a random thought, ramblings of a mind on the edge and perhaps meaningless to anyone but me blog. I’ve had a difficult month, but I’m not whining because that sort of thing happens to all of us and we all have to figure out how to get through it, pick ourselves up and move on. I’ve been working on this and I think I’m finally pulling myself out of this funk I’ve been in. Sometimes it requires letting go of things we are involved in, people we associate with or just lightening our load a little until life settles down somewhat (even if we love those people, activities, and involvements we still may need to release them permanently or temporarily).

So, I was standing in line at one of my favorite natural food stores last week and saw this magazine “Skeptic” for the first time. I was curious so picked it up to thumb through it (that’s what we’re supposed to do while in line, right?). I didn’t get past the cover when it was my turn to check out. I set it back down thinking I didn’t really need any more negativity in my life and went on my way. But my attention was drawn back to the cover article about Happiness and our society’s addiction with happiness, and my mind immediately went into a hand on the hip, foot stomping, heavy sigh, thought-provoking dark space where I seldom permit it to go. It got me thinking, or maybe even skeptical about whether or not our obsession with happiness is actually leading to dissatisfaction, even less happiness and downright depression.

Statistics (if you’re into that sort of thing) show that the holidays are an exceptionally difficult time for many if not most people. Psychiatric hospitals fill to capacity, stress induced illnesses flare up, theft and vandalism rise, physical violence, assault and domestic abuse increase. People “celebrate” with alcohol and other substances, families argue and disagree, obligations become overwhelming for many and what is “supposed” to be a joyous time of year becomes downright unbearable for many. Folks who have experienced the loss of a loved one recently or even in the distant past are often reminded of this loss even more profoundly during this force-fed joyous season and they may become immobilized with grief. Families change, traditions change and looking back at our youth and how our parents raised us to celebrate the holidays become only a distance memory. Still we are told to smile, be happy, make new traditions, and celebrate as often as possible with as many people as we can possibly fit into our schedule.

If you’re still with me this far you may be waiting for me to say, yes, carry on, be happy, change your thoughts and change your reality, put on your happy face and move forward into holiday bliss. That’s not going to happen (well, it could later on—remember this is just the ramblings of a mind on the edge so no telling where I’m headed).  I’m really an optimist most of the time and I really do believe that our thoughts control how we get through the tough stuff. But, we also have to be real for if we aren’t we may end up in this obsessive seeking of happiness our society is forcing down our throats. We are human. We are here for lessons and some random fun and struggles here and there. We cannot seek happiness and expect to find it; we have to allow it to happen. We also have to survive the dark stuff, the unhappiness, because simply put it exists for all of us whether you force it inward and put on your happy face, or wear it proudly on your sleeve.

I don’t want to become one of the folks that ends up being one of the statistics listed above and I don’t want that for you either. I want to live in a place of bliss and joy, but I’ve had many experiences lately and people who have helped me sort through my “stuff” and have helped me realize that getting angry is ok, being honest with our emotions is a good thing, and allowing a full range of emotions AND joy are all good and healthy. We need to allow and go with the flow of all our emotions. Are you wondering when I’m going to get to the point? Me too!! Quite honestly the only point was that perhaps being a skeptic is alright. Joy, happiness and holiday bliss may be unrealistic right now for you, someone you know and love, or a stranger you pass on the street. Allowing yourself to be right where you are right now is ok. Offer a stranger a smile, a hand up if possible and a hug to anyone who needs it (that would be everyone!). Be there, allow the loss, the sadness, the grief, the financial burden, whatever emotion you are feeling at this time. To say “don’t seek happiness” seems crazy especially during the holiday, right?  I don’t think so. Happiness will come when you stop seeking it and allow all the other stuff to flow naturally and fully participate in working your way through it and out of it.

My disclaimer here is that if you are deeply hurting and not moving through emotional stuff, but rather stuck in a dark place please ask for help from someone, whether family, friend or professional. I’m not saying to be depressed and unhappy and dwell in that space. I’m simply saying that our society is obsessed with happiness and sometimes we just need to BE, right where we are, right now, and experience our reality. Joy and happiness will return, if we allow it. I also feel as though we should all be allowed to opt out of holidays at least once. Just hang a sign in the front yard (lighted, blinking and flashing for the holidays would be fun) that simply says “PASS”.  I don’t want my “pass” this year; I just want to be allowed to be real. My wish for all of you is to BE wherever you are right now, with the hope and dream of joy in the future (or now if that is where you are!). Help others, seek help for yourself if you need to, and take the time to care for you just as you would for others, for “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” (Buddha).

I have to close now because Hannah just cranked Frosty the Snowman to 40 billion decibels and I have to go BE somewhere else…

 ♥ Pam


2 Responses

  1. This may seem a little crazy but you know I follow your post!It’s okay to feel HURT at this time of year rather than joy.WHY? I asked myself..Do you really think GOD wants to celebrate with Santa Clause,a tree and Christmas cheer when this only stands to remind him that his ONLY son was Born to Die .Do you really think that he appreciates the fact that we go off like nuts and charge or buy things for people who EXPECT you too?After all put yourself in his shoes.IF you KNEW that when you adopted Melissa that she would only live for 32 years and then die on a cross,would you be glad to see people running around on the anniversary of her birth buying “GIFTS” for people that never gave a drop of blood to save her life?I think you are truly blessed and your “FEELINGS”” right now is God’s way of showing you how HE feels this “HOLIDAY” season.We have been taught to put on a happy face and enjoy,but the fact of the matter is it is not a joyous occasion for all!!We are taught to sit on some fat mans lap who may or may not be a pedophile,ask for gifts that we “WANT”,not what we NEED!!The bible teaches that God provides our NEEDS not our wants.The season has become a commercial nightmare..not a HOLY historical event.SO as a real Christian I think we have the right to be distraught,over whelmed, and sad,and disappointed at this time of year.It may be God’s way of letting you know there is a change coming ,but first we have to see and feel the gross miscarriage of justice we have done,not only to him but for the reason for this season too! Have faith,like the bible says ..this too shall pass.You can only be what God made you to be!!Much love and respect for you!!God Bless!!

  2. Love and appreciate you and your blogs ❤


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