Questions, Words and Answers

Questions

Kids love to ask why. They have a natural curiosity and thirst for knowledge; I love this stage of childhood and feel it should never be discouraged. There’s such great satisfaction in being able to nourish children’s minds with answers or teach them how to find answers themselves. Having two children who are nonverbal and a son who struggles with speech I always wondered what it was they wanted to know that they were unable to ask. I used to make up answers as we were driving in the car or visiting new places or participating in new activities, which would answer the questions I thought they might be thinking. I talked to them to fill in the silence of the unknown, and respond to questions I felt their heart or minds might crave to know.

I did this because I question everything—everything! I question reality, spirituality, duality, science, and philosophy, outer space, religion, words, thoughts, humanity, why things happen or don’t happen, and just about everything else. I wonder for instance if I see purple as you see purple, or is my purple your green; and if you like green and I like purple do we actually like the same color? See, I question everything! It’s not that I’m a skeptic, although admittedly I am, but I have always been curious, had a desire to know more, and driven my family, friends, teachers, employers and professors crazy with questions. I can fire off questions faster than anyone can answer if they are even interested after the barrage of words being fired at them.

I have a niece who questioned everything. I was a young teen when she was born and watched her grow up and begin to question. I asked my mom one day (of course I did!) why Michelle always asked so many questions. She broke into hysterical laughter, saying only, “you should know; you do the same thing!” Aha, the great quest for knowledge, and the question only I could answer! As time went on my questioning became an annoyance to people and I learned to stop asking. I grew to fear asking questions because I learned it’s an annoyance to people. Perhaps it’s an aggravation because people feel inadequate if they do not have an answer. Possibly some questions simply don’t have answers that we are supposed to know. It’s part of our human experience; to learn the lessons we came here to learn. Osho says it’s the ego that needs to question, and every answer only leads to more questions. I’m learning to trust the unanswerable and have faith in the unknown (many thanks to a wise friend).

Words and Answers

Words are so inadequate to answer so many questions; questions of love, divinity, why, why not and just about everything else I have questioned. William Shakespeare said, “Words, words, mere words, no matter from the heart.” If I were to title this page Questions, Words, and Answers, and left the page blank it may be more helpful to you. It would leave you to feel the answers with your heart, without words to fill in the answers someone else wants you to believe.

What if we don’t know the answers or it can’t be described in words? What if we responded, “I don’t know” when asked a question; even if asked by a child? What if we returned the question with a question, “What do YOU feel” (rather than what do you think)? Once you’re past the age of three there’s a good chance you don’t know the answer to anything. “I don’t know” is an acceptable answer and once again leaves us to trust in the unknown.

Why

Believe me when I say I have no answers to “why” and I am not even going to attempt to try to answer any “why” questions except one. Why am I writing this? I guess it all comes back to Trying2express and the reason behind many of my blogs. I have a desire to know what my children, who cannot verbally express words for themselves, are thinking, feeling, questioning, wondering, or whether they have physical or emotional pain. I want to know because as a parent I want to help them grow to be all they are capable of being and to fulfill their needs. I have learned that I have to listen with my heart, trust there are things I will never know about them, and believe in a higher power to guide all of us to fulfill our greater purpose here on earth. I can only hope I am coming close to understanding them, not putting thoughts and ideas into their hearts and minds that are useless, and helping meet their needs and higher purpose while meeting my own. I am taking a break from blogging, Facebook and my website to concentrate on my family, myself, and all the change we have gone through over the last six months. We have changed almost everything about our lives, from a new home, neighborhood, and friends, to schools and programs, equipment, and perspectives. I am also on a spiritual and self-healing journey. It took things settling down a little bit for me to realize I am feeling out of balance. I look forward to sitting in silence, asking only important questions, and listening for the answers. I look forward to our future interactions and may be back on Melissa’s Facebook page before I’m back on my own. I’m excited to see where this journey guides me.

Wishing you love and light,   Pam

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2 Responses

  1. Dear Pam,
    You and your family have alwways been in my thoughts and prayers, and will continue to be. May God Bless you in your journey,
    Sandy

  2. Pam,

    Thinking of you and knowing what taking time really means… I applaud your dedication to knowing WHEN to take that time.

    Keep me posted.
    Big Love your friend

    Kathy

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